dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
vagina is talking i cant
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
