is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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