I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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