Joe is yelling at the trees again.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
