Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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