I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
