He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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