i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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