Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
