its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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