My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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