This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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