dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
