I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
this boner is exhausting
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
