theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
