It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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