Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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