speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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