she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
