You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
