The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
