I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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