you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Actions speak louder than pants.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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