I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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