i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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