i may or may not be watching the land before time
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
