butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
