dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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