I'm laying in your front yard are you home
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how does that bad decision feel?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
