I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
