Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
