She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
