i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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