no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
