You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
