i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
