Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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