My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
