why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
