You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
