Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
