Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
