so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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