Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
