i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
