you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
