I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i've created a new STD.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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