too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
