If i come over, it means nothing
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
