she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i came on her dog
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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